What’s Your One Kick?


As we start a new year, we come up with things we need to achieve…goals, targets and the very popular  “New Year’s Resolution”. While it is highly recommended to have goals and resolutions, we can easily get swamped and have all our efforts diluted. That in fact, is the key to an average life. No one becomes exceptional by doing many things averagely.

What is the one thing you can be exceptional at? Find it and zero in on it. That’s the key to an exceptional life.

Growing up, one of my favourite actors was Bruce Lee. Apart from being a great actor, Bruce Lee was also an accomplished martial artist. I recently came across a quote from him that nailed this point: “I fear not the man that has practiced 1,000 different kicks one time. I fear the man who has practiced 1 kick 1,000 times.” – Bruce Lee

So the question is, what’s your one kick? …focus and practice it “1,000 times” instead of practicing so many “kicks” a few times.

What’s that one kick? Do all you can to find that one kick, then give your all to it! Practice it 1,000 times over and over…and even Bruce Lee will fear you 🙂

Does this resonate? Share your thoughts…


40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 5

40th-birthdayFinally, I get to finish this blog series. Here’s the final part of the “40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years”. Enjoy! (To catch up on previous editions go to www.femimonehin.com and scroll down)

#33: It Is Better To Be Kind Than To Be Right.

People will remember how you make them feel long after they have forgotten who was right. If you insist on winning every argument, you will loose the most precious people to you. I’ve learnt to choose kindness over correctness without compromising truth. I am one of those that have a “justice bent”. But I have learnt (howbeit painfully) that it is better to “loose a battle” and “win the war”…. it is better to “loose an argument” so that I can “win people”…without compromising truth. People may not remember what you said, but they will remember how they felt.

#34: God likes me.

It’s awesome enough that God loves me. However, beyond that, I’ve learnt that God actually likes me!!! Huge difference. He likes hanging out with me. He likes talking to me. Believe it or not He jokes with me 😀 He calls me friend. Totally humbling. Humbling is actually an understatement. The beauty of it is that you can also pursue friendship with Him.

#35: I Don’t Have To Be Lonely

God didn’t solve Adam’s loneliness problem. He solved his aloneness problem. Huge difference. Adam wasn’t lonely. He was alone. He wasn’t lonely because He had the company of the Most High and he was busy with his assignment. Loneliness occurs when these 2 things are not in place: the company of the Most High and a sense of purpose. You can be married and lonely. You can be in a crowd and be lonely. Loneliness is not the absence of people but the absence of purpose…not the absence of affection but the absence of direction. I have learnt that I don’t have to be lonely.

#36: The Supernatural is Real

There is a lot of push to portray life as ordinary, secular and that all that we see is all there is, but I have learnt that there is an unseen world. All you see is not all there is. In fact, the unseen world governs the seen world. Don’t live an ordinary life, live an extraordinary life. There is the positive supernatural and the negative supernatural. Light & darkness. Jesus is Light, seek Him. Live in Him and through Him. Don’t live a natural life, live a supernatural life.

#37: Good Will Always Prevail Over Evil

I have learnt that on the long haul, good will always prevail over evil. Light will always prevail over darkness. The world is plagued with evil…; adultery, murder, betrayal, terrorism…etc… but the good news is this: good will always prevail over evil. I can tell you one story after the other…but I’ve come to realize that no matter how long evil goes on for, good will ALWAYS prevail. Choose to be on the side of good.

#38: Life is 10% What Happened To You and 90% What Happened IN You

I have heard it said that “life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond”. So true. We tend to blame the outcome of our lives on what happened to us. NO! The life you have now is based on how you have responded to what happened to you. For instance, the fact that you have been deeply hurt does not justify that you respond with bitterness. We respond based on what’s IN us. Your life flows from the abundance of what’s IN you. You need to prevent what happened to you from getting inside of you! Be purposeful about what gets in and grows in you. You will discover that the quality of your life is determined by what happened IN you and not what happened TO you.

#39: Enjoy Your Spouse (if you’re married)

I learnt that it is entirely up to my wife & I if we are going to enjoy our marriage or endure it. Guess what? We keep choosing enjoyment over endurance. I have heard a whole lot of people tell me things like; “I wish my marriage will be like yours”, etc… You know what, it’s a choice …I know, I know, it’s the grace of God… the grace to choose joy over sorrow. Think about it, you’re “stuck together” anyway…so why not choose to ENJOY your marriage? I can assure you that your marriage will face all kinds of storms. At the end of the day, it’s up to both of you. So what will it be?

#40: You Only Live Once

You have only ONE shot at life, so give it your best shot! You need to ask yourself some critical questions: Why am I here? Where am I going? Is this all there is to life? Am I living to the fullest? Am I giving it my all? Who is better off because of me? Who’s life is eternally changed because of me? If I were to vanish, who will REALLY miss me? You have to wrestle with these questions. You have only one life. You have only one shot at life. Make your life count!

That’s it! I’ve shared 40 of the things I’ve learnt in 40 years. Was it helpful? Share your thoughts below…

40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 4

40th-birthdayIn Parts 1,2&3 I shared 24 of the 40. Here I will be sharing the next 8.

You can get Part 1 here: 40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 1

Part 2 here: 40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 2

…and Part 2 here: 40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 3

#25: Ask For Direction. It Won’t Kill You.

I learnt very early that I don’t know everything…or better still, I can’t know everything. But I discovered that I don’t need to know everything. I just need to be humble enough to ask the right people. I’m amazed at the sheer number of people that are groping in darkness while standing right beside the person that can turn on the light. Humble yourself, open your mouth and ASK. You don’t know everything…just stop and ask for direction. It won’t kill you. “It’s an ironic habit of man that when he loses his way, he doubles his speed.” -Rollo May Continue Reading…

40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 3

In Parts 1 & 2 I shared 16 of the 40. Here I will be sharing the next 8.

You can get Part 1 here: 40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 1

…and Part 2 here: 40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 2

#17: Since you must think… Think BIG.

I’ve learnt that not many people think for themselves. That’s one thing we are too happy to outsource. However, if you are going to make your life count, you have to think for yourself…and while you’re at it, you can as well think BIG. As you think, so you are. Someone puts it this way: “the only difference between building a $500K dollar business vs. $10M is deciding. It’s that simple.” -@danmartell. You have to think…why not just think BIG. Continue Reading…

40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 2



A few days ago, I started a new blog series: 40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years. In this Part 2 of the series, we will be sharing on the next 8.

#9: Think Big. Your Future Depends On It

I can’t overemphasize this enough. You cannot move beyond what you can see. Everything you see today was once a thought. So stretch your imagination. Your life will move in the direction of your dominant thought. So, think BIG. Your future depends on it.

#10: Betrayal Is A Pre-requisite To Greatness

I’ve studied the lives of great men and they seam to have several things in common…one of which is deeply painful betrayal. Everyone that will be great will have his/her own share of betrayal. You will have to learn how to bounce back. I know some will say “but I’ve not been betrayed”. Just keep living, keep increasing in greatness and bookmark this blog post (you will be needing it sooner or later 🙂 ). Since you’ll be great, you will be betrayed. It’s not a prophecy, it’s a fact. Continue Reading…

40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 1

40th-birthdayThis is the first part of a new blog series titled “40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years”. I became 40 years old a few days ago. Thanks 🙂 . For some reason, I have been doing a lot of introspection. So I’ve come up with 40 of the things that I’ve learnt in 40 years. I’ve definitely learnt more than 40 things (hopefully) …but these are the ones I’m sharing. I’m shooting randomly, not in any particular order…so here’s the first 8:

#1: Silent Gratitude Is Of No Use To Anyone.

If you are grateful say it! I’ve learnt that people can’t read my mind. There are people I wish I could have been more grateful to but are not alive anymore. So, you appreciate that gesture? Say it! You like your wives hair? Tell her! You feel privileged to be loved by God? Tell Him! It is said that “your gratitude determines your altitude”. It’s impossible to be thankful and be grounded. So open you mouth and say it!

#2: A Good Name Is Still Better Than Silver & Gold.

With many people rushing to get ahead at all cost. Sacrificing their conscience for convenience. Telling themselves that “The end justifies the means”. I have come to realize that a good name is still better than silver and gold. Of a truth, a good name can guarantee silver and gold. Continue Reading…

Gentlemen, don’t marry a woman that won’t cook!

This is a sequel to my last post (Ladies, don’t marry a man that can’t cook!).

I know that some will argue that this is the 21st century, times have changed, etc…etc… however, the gender confusion that plagues the world today can be traced to the confusion in sexual identities and roles of the man and the woman.

It is clear from how differently men and women are built and wired that the Creator had different identities & roles in mind. While there are functions that both genders can perform comfortably well, that does not mean they were designed for it. For instance, the fact that I can use my ipad to hit a tennis serve does not mean that it was designed for that.

Women are designed to nurture. In a family setting the woman should take responsibility for nurturing her home. The man should partner with her in the nurturing process, but it should be the woman’s call. Similarly, the man is designed to provide and he should take responsibility for providing for his family…the woman can partner with him in the provision process, but it should be the man’s call. It’s as simple as that.

You’ll be shocked how stressless millions of lives will be by this simple alignment.

Back to nurturing. A major part of nurturing is feeding! The woman is so built for this that the Creator gave her two breasts with the primary purpose of feeding her young. Yet, we increasingly hear of mothers that have no interest in breast feeding their children. They’ll rather keep their breasts “intact” for looking good & sexual appeal. Gentlemen, don’t marry a woman that won’t breast feed your children!

The breast is there to make a statement: I am in charge of feeding! So, it’s a misnomer to have a wife that won’t take charge of feeding her family. Now, don’t get me wrong. I understand that some men are better cooks. I have a friend that cooks most of the family’s meals…and that’s fine, if they are both cool with it…but the lady also cooks and “owns” the nourishment of her family.

I also understand that there are some ladies that can’t cook. If you can’t cook it’s one thing, but if you won’t cook it’s another thing entirely. If you can’t cook, you should be willing to learn. I have another friend that really loves good food (like most men do), but his wife is not a good cook. He said to me “I’m content with the fact that she makes the effort. So her food becomes delicious to me”. My wife couldn’t bake when we got married and I love cake :D…but now, my wife bakes the best chocolate cakes in the world!…I know you will contest that, but wait until you taste it. 🙂

So ladies, take responsibility for feeding your family. Even if you have a really busy schedule and you have a professional cook, you should still be in charge of the food your family eats…the planning, oversight, etc…

Guys, take my advice: don’t marry a woman that won’t cook!!!

What are your thoughts?

Ladies, don’t marry a man that can’t cook!

GettyImages_164664581With a lot of my “little” girls getting married these days, I tend to think to myself: “Femi, you’re a grand father!” Well, that kind of makes me feel good. Very good too.

While all that is good, a little advice to all the ladies out there: DON’T MARRY A MAN THAT CAN’T COOK!!!

Now I don’t mean that literarily (but if he can cook it’s a plus 🙂 ), what I actually mean is this; a man must be able to help himself. There are too many “handicapped” men looking for a babysitter. Unfortunately, there are also a lot of confused ladies that think their role is to babysit a grownup. The tragedy of this unhealthy combination is abuse. Abuse in different forms and shapes.

As it is commonly said, if he’s looking for a woman that can cook, can wash, can sweep, can mow, can clean…he’s not looking for a wife, he’s looking for a maid. Should a woman be able to do all that? Yes, and a lot more!!! But if he marries you because you can cook & wash & sweep & mow & clean, then don’t complain when he turns you into a maid.

Assuming you’re heavily pregnant and you came back home tired from work with the house unclean and no food for the family, what happens? Or what happens if you are out of the country for an extended period of time? If you marry a man that can’t help himself, he will be totally miserable or easily get another “maid” that will fill the gap in your absence.

Save yourself the heartache; don’t marry a man that can’t cook!

1 Reason Why You Should Support the Super Eagles

While this post is for my Nigerian readers, you’re welcome if not Nigerian.

nigeria-super-eaglesI watched the Nigeria vs Burkina Faso match of the ongoing AFCON 2013 with keen interest. While I’ve heard a lot of analysis on how poorly the Super Eagles played, I think, on the contrary, that they had a good game. Yes, there were a couple of things that could have been better. But overall, no seasoned soccer eyes will accuse them of playing “like chickens” like a lot of people are saying on social media. What we must realize is that the soccer quality margin between nations are so slim these days.

So why should I support the Super Eagles?

If you’re Nigerian, here is 1 reason why I think you should support the Super Eagles no matter what…win or lose: Continue Reading…

Dare To Dream Again

DreamingWe’ve all had dreams. Dreams of a great future. Dreams to improve our lives. Dreams to ace those exams. Dreams to make a huge impact. Dreams to be like our heroes. Dreams to do the impossible. Dreams to change the world…then life happens.

Things happen to us that jolts us into “reality“. Our dream of loving people deeply is short lived after the reality of a deep hurt. We tell ourselves: “face the reality, you can’t trust people”. Our dreams to surpass our heroes are dashed when we are let down by the same heroes and we ourselves fall short consistently. We tell ourselves: “face the reality, you’re just ordinary”. Our dreams to change the world comes to an abrupt end when we are exposed to its vast complexities. We console ourselves: “face the reality, the world is too rotten” or “…I give up, this nation is a failed state”. Oh, that nagging thought that seeks to persuade us into embracing normalcy: “face the reality, …”

Do not settle for the normalcy of “reality“. You are to change the current reality. You may have been scarred, but don’t allow the thing that marred your past mess up your future. Your future is tied to your dreams. So, dare to dream again. Silence that nagging thought and Dare to Dream Again.

Dare to Dream Again! You can love deeply. You can improve your life. You can make a huge impact. You can ace those exams. You can surpass your heroes. You can change your world. You can do the impossible. Dare to Dream Again!

Can you relate? Share your thoughts…

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