40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 4

40th-birthdayIn Parts 1,2&3 I shared 24 of the 40. Here I will be sharing the next 8.

You can get Part 1 here: 40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 1

Part 2 here: 40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 2

…and Part 2 here: 40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 3

#25: Ask For Direction. It Won’t Kill You.

I learnt very early that I don’t know everything…or better still, I can’t know everything. But I discovered that I don’t need to know everything. I just need to be humble enough to ask the right people. I’m amazed at the sheer number of people that are groping in darkness while standing right beside the person that can turn on the light. Humble yourself, open your mouth and ASK. You don’t know everything…just stop and ask for direction. It won’t kill you. “It’s an ironic habit of man that when he loses his way, he doubles his speed.” -Rollo May

#26: God Loves Me.

And that’s not just my name 🙂 (Oluwafemi means God loves me). I have learnt that God really loves me. There’s enough proof in my life. There are things that should have wiped me out, but God’s love prevailed. There are things I don’t deserve but God’s love delivered. And guess what, He loves you too.

#27: It Will Take More Than Hard-Work To Succeed.

It’s easy to think that as long as you work hard, you will succeed…but that’s a myth. There are millions of hard-working and unsuccessful people in the world. I can’t count the number of times hard-working but unsuccessful people have told me “but I’m hard working”… or “I know I’m not lazy”…and all that is true, but they are unsuccessful nonetheless. You will succeed or fail because of who you are and not only how hard you work. If you are mediocre, you can’t work-hard into excellence. The harder you work, the more mediocrity you produce. If you are “small” in your mind, you can’t work-hard into greatness. You must work hard, don’t get me wrong…what I’m saying is work harder on yourself than on a job. Work hard on developing yourself. Read that book. Attend that course. Enlarge your capacity. If you are great on the inside, you will always produce great results. Since you must work hard, work hard on developing yourself.

#28: You Can Be Wrong.

I have learnt not to be too hard myself. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You can be wrong. Give yourself some slack. Learn to experiment with new ideas. If you want to be right all the time, you will not discover new things. What everyone celebrates as innovative is usually a result of many failed attempts. Like Sir Ken Robinson said…“if you are not prepared to be wrong, you will never come up with anything original.”

#29: People Change.

This is one of the mysteries of life… People change. The fact that someone was trustworthy yesterday doesn’t mean he/she will be trustworthy today. A lot of businesses are bankrupt because the owners brought in someone he/she trusted 10 years ago. So you hear things like “we grew up together”, “she was so innocent in High School”. Time passes, life happens, people change. The good news is that the converse is also true: the fact that someone was unreliable yesterday doesn’t mean he/she will be unreliable today. The person that failed you 5 years ago might have changed. Some people actually deserve a second chance. People change.

#30: Your Life Is As Chaotic As You Make It.

Your life will be a chaotic as you make it or as simple as you make it. So if you feel your life is very complex and chaotic, guess who is responsible? You! Go ahead and simplify your life. If you just thought “it’s easier said than done”, you’ve just empowered the chaos. Take responsibility. Eliminate the unnecessary. Sometimes you need to perform “surgery” on your life: from your relationships to your closet so as to achieve order. It’s your call.

#31: Learn to Move On

There is something you need to know about life: “life goes on”. Yes you’ve made the mistake, but please move on. Yes you’re on the ground; get up, dust yourself & move on! Yesterday’s GONE! So you were heartbroken… if no one has said “sorry” to you, I’m saying it now “sorry”. Now get up and move on with your life! If you don’t, you will discover that the world has moved on, and you’re still on the same spot. Even if you just recorded a huge success; congratulations…but please MOVE ON!!!

#32: Everyone has the right to an opinion.

There’s nothing you can do about that. Some opinions you will like some you won’t like, some you will think is outrightly foolish…but guess what, that’s their opinion. Some may think poorly of you…but that’s their opinion and they are entitled to it. But you must never forget that it’s just an opinion. Stop empowering people’s opinion over your life. Treat it as it is…it’s just an opinion. You are who God says you are. Period.

That’s it for now. 32 down 8 to go!

Do you have any thoughts on what was shared? Please share your thoughts below… (Remember, you have a right to an opinion 🙂 ).

18 Responses to “40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 4”

  1. abigail mene February 20, 2014 at 8:25 pm #

    Unknowingly to me, I was led to put #27 to work- working hard on developing myself, seeing this is a reminder that its not because I’m the worst person on earth, u had to do this at some point right?(working to develope urself)

    Maybe u can share the aspects of ur life/character u had to deal with, which if u hadn’t, would ve led u to….

    • OLUFEMI MONEHIN February 21, 2014 at 3:46 pm #

      Lol…thanks Abigail.
      I’m still working hard on developing myself. One never “graduate” from the university of personal development.

      Sharing areas I had to work on…hmmm…that’s another blog on its own. Let me share these though; I had to work on my mind…I read. Like many people, reading doesn’t come natural to me (I know my colleagues will disagree with this) but I have to make considerable effort to read continuously.

      Another area I had to deal with was anger. I noticed that the more I fellowship with God the more control I have over myself; so I work hard to protect my fellowship with God. (By the way there is so much more to fellowship with God than anger management.)

      Hope that helps.

  2. Debbie February 20, 2014 at 8:43 pm #

    Learn to move on – I still don’t understand why this is such a tough nut to crack!

    • OLUFEMI MONEHIN February 21, 2014 at 3:36 pm #

      I know Debbie…it can be tough. But we can’t afford to get stuck in yesterday.
      Thanks for your comment.

  3. temidayo February 20, 2014 at 10:59 pm #

    #25 works for me a lot especially in my job.u can never stop learning. my kids in class always ask me”why wont u kno u r suppose to be d teacher” anytime I ask dem abt wat am not sure of.but u kno wat, I always get answers frm dem.asking my colleagues for direction always made my work easier and helped me a lot in my appraisal.
    #29 and #31 also on point! Very crucial
    well done pastor!

    • OLUFEMI MONEHIN February 21, 2014 at 3:25 pm #

      Thanks Temidayo.
      Yes, you get ahead by asking for directions…even from your students 🙂

  4. Mobola February 20, 2014 at 11:19 pm #

    Hmm… Well thought of life nuggets
    #26 is one I often forget that it is not dependent on me (what I do or don’t do) but His love for me is unconditional..
    #30 – food for thought 🙂
    #31 & #32 – couldn’t agree more

  5. gbemi hassan February 21, 2014 at 4:50 am #

    Well said and very well said indeed. My favourites are lessons 29 and 31. A Lot of people get stuck on these and in my opinion the best kind of skill is the ability to “dust issues like dust ” if you allow it settle on you for long you end up being dirty yourself. Great lesson you have shared Pastor femi.

  6. Mendy February 21, 2014 at 6:17 am #

    In my opinion, these are useful tools to carry along. Great stuff!

  7. funto February 22, 2014 at 7:12 am #

    thanks again Pastor Femi!

  8. Imelda February 22, 2014 at 4:42 pm #

    I have been reading this article on 40 things.Its been really inspiring and a kind of reminders for me, thank you sir

  9. Ikechukwu February 22, 2014 at 9:09 pm #

    Pastor…now that we have your “sorry” in place(#31), guess the next logical thing to do is to Keep Moving!
    Read #28, 29 & 32 over, over and over again…My eyes are really opening per read…thank you Sir.

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