40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 5

40th-birthdayFinally, I get to finish this blog series. Here’s the final part of the “40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years”. Enjoy! (To catch up on previous editions go to www.femimonehin.com and scroll down)

#33: It Is Better To Be Kind Than To Be Right.

People will remember how you make them feel long after they have forgotten who was right. If you insist on winning every argument, you will loose the most precious people to you. I’ve learnt to choose kindness over correctness without compromising truth. I am one of those that have a “justice bent”. But I have learnt (howbeit painfully) that it is better to “loose a battle” and “win the war”…. it is better to “loose an argument” so that I can “win people”…without compromising truth. People may not remember what you said, but they will remember how they felt.

#34: God likes me.

It’s awesome enough that God loves me. However, beyond that, I’ve learnt that God actually likes me!!! Huge difference. He likes hanging out with me. He likes talking to me. Believe it or not He jokes with me 😀 He calls me friend. Totally humbling. Humbling is actually an understatement. The beauty of it is that you can also pursue friendship with Him.

#35: I Don’t Have To Be Lonely

God didn’t solve Adam’s loneliness problem. He solved his aloneness problem. Huge difference. Adam wasn’t lonely. He was alone. He wasn’t lonely because He had the company of the Most High and he was busy with his assignment. Loneliness occurs when these 2 things are not in place: the company of the Most High and a sense of purpose. You can be married and lonely. You can be in a crowd and be lonely. Loneliness is not the absence of people but the absence of purpose…not the absence of affection but the absence of direction. I have learnt that I don’t have to be lonely.

#36: The Supernatural is Real

There is a lot of push to portray life as ordinary, secular and that all that we see is all there is, but I have learnt that there is an unseen world. All you see is not all there is. In fact, the unseen world governs the seen world. Don’t live an ordinary life, live an extraordinary life. There is the positive supernatural and the negative supernatural. Light & darkness. Jesus is Light, seek Him. Live in Him and through Him. Don’t live a natural life, live a supernatural life.

#37: Good Will Always Prevail Over Evil

I have learnt that on the long haul, good will always prevail over evil. Light will always prevail over darkness. The world is plagued with evil…; adultery, murder, betrayal, terrorism…etc… but the good news is this: good will always prevail over evil. I can tell you one story after the other…but I’ve come to realize that no matter how long evil goes on for, good will ALWAYS prevail. Choose to be on the side of good.

#38: Life is 10% What Happened To You and 90% What Happened IN You

I have heard it said that “life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond”. So true. We tend to blame the outcome of our lives on what happened to us. NO! The life you have now is based on how you have responded to what happened to you. For instance, the fact that you have been deeply hurt does not justify that you respond with bitterness. We respond based on what’s IN us. Your life flows from the abundance of what’s IN you. You need to prevent what happened to you from getting inside of you! Be purposeful about what gets in and grows in you. You will discover that the quality of your life is determined by what happened IN you and not what happened TO you.

#39: Enjoy Your Spouse (if you’re married)

I learnt that it is entirely up to my wife & I if we are going to enjoy our marriage or endure it. Guess what? We keep choosing enjoyment over endurance. I have heard a whole lot of people tell me things like; “I wish my marriage will be like yours”, etc… You know what, it’s a choice …I know, I know, it’s the grace of God… the grace to choose joy over sorrow. Think about it, you’re “stuck together” anyway…so why not choose to ENJOY your marriage? I can assure you that your marriage will face all kinds of storms. At the end of the day, it’s up to both of you. So what will it be?

#40: You Only Live Once

You have only ONE shot at life, so give it your best shot! You need to ask yourself some critical questions: Why am I here? Where am I going? Is this all there is to life? Am I living to the fullest? Am I giving it my all? Who is better off because of me? Who’s life is eternally changed because of me? If I were to vanish, who will REALLY miss me? You have to wrestle with these questions. You have only one life. You have only one shot at life. Make your life count!

That’s it! I’ve shared 40 of the things I’ve learnt in 40 years. Was it helpful? Share your thoughts below…

7 Responses to “40 Things I’ve Learnt In 40 Years – Part 5”

  1. Annabel (Mrs George Ehizibolo) October 24, 2014 at 1:42 pm #

    wow! i have learn’t something new today “Enjoy Your Spouse” that is, to choose to enjoy my marriage rather than endure it.

  2. Joy Adeyemi October 24, 2014 at 4:07 pm #

    “I’ve learnt to choose kindness over correctness without compromising truth”….PFM. This is well said.

    I can relate with this.

  3. Imelda October 24, 2014 at 4:44 pm #

    Been waiting for this. Great insights as usual. Thanks for sharing so much of you, God bless you sir!

  4. Catherine October 25, 2014 at 1:21 am #

    Pastor, thank you so much for finding time to share these deep life lessons. #38 “Life is 10% What Happened To You and 90% What Happened IN You” is so striking! I can relate to this learning in my personal life experience. Our responses to our plights determine the ‘outcome’ and not the plights per se.

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